Devastated

Yesterday was one of the most devastating days of my life thus far. There were 7 of us in my school circle of close friends and I was the only one that didn't get into RN school.  I know that God has other plans for me but it still devastated me.  I was certain with everything that was within me that I was in.  

I talked to one of my teachers than I am closest to and she did some checking for me. I was 5 points short of making the deadline.  But this is what she did find out thus far.  There are only 3 so far that has returned their acceptance letters.  The deadline is December 14.  We will see then if there were a lot of people that didn't return their letters and there may be room for me.  She has already got a call into the head of the nursing department and said she was not above going to the Dean of the nursing department to try to get me in. 

So at this point I am sitting back and waiting. I am looking into other options - especially doing it online - but will not apply or anything until I find out what is going to happen until after December 14.  

I really think this has been a test of my faith and I have failed miserably but my God is a forgiving God..  I feel like this is a test because I have quit going to church, I have quit reading my bible, I have quit praying.  I am so far from where I need to be or want to be so this was a turning point for me.  It was a wake up call.