Have you just ever felt like you were right smack dab in the middle of hell & God was nowhere around? When I read that again today (it has been many, many years since I have read that), it fit with what I have felt lately. And I know it has felt like God was no where around because I wouldn’t let Him in…and He is a gentleman. He isn’t going to force his way in.
I have now decided to find that secret place again. To get alone with God, give Him my undivided attention, and pray. Basically just get back on track. I want to meet God again and let Him strengthen me. I want to let him fight my battles because they are His - not mine. I want to be refreshed and be at peace in Him. I have been stuck in a rut for way too long and I got too comfortable and complacent.
I have learned a lot in the last six months about loving people - more importantly to love them where they are. To accept them where they are. To love them like Jesus.
I got so caught up in studying and then working that I forgot why I went into nursing in the first place. It is my calling - of that I have no doubts. It is my ministry - of this I have no doubts either. But I haven’t been treating it that way and it is time I started walking in that way.
On January 28, 2009 (yes I remember the date exactly!), I was told a lot of things that at the time I thought were meant to hurt me. I realized quickly they weren’t and the things that were said have stuck with me all these years. I was told that this person was so hard on me because they saw such great potential in me. That I had to learn to have a tender heart but tough skin. I don’t know why that came to my mind as I was writing this tonight but it did.
Now, ending this I am going to say one thing - though I am trying to get my life back together and in the direction it should be and it once was, I am not going to go down the “super spiritual saint” road again. I am not going to condemn others for the way they live their life. It huts too many people and it isn’t loving people like Jesus. I am a Christian but I am also me. You can love me or you can leave me.
We are not meant to condemn others for the way they live their life. We are meant to encourage others. We are meant to spread the word of Jehovah. But if no one wants to listen, that is okay. Everyone didn't listen to Jesus either. All we have to remember is that we are trying to live the way HE wants us to live... We are not perfect. We are human. We won't have the option to be perfect until this system is over. Do your best Tonya. Remember Jehovah is on your side
ReplyDeleteTrina, you have known me long enough also to know that for a long time I thought being a Christian meant having to be perfect. And you are one of the ones that has helped me learn to love you where you are. As you know, I don't agree with everything that you believe in but you are strong in your beliefs and I commend you for that. Just like you don't agree with everything that I believe but we love each other through the differences.
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